my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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