is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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