This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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