Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
