her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
