i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
