he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
