Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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