pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
