Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
