I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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