just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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