where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
