i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
