I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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