she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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