um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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