This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We got so high we made milksteak
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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