i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
