i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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