Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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