YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
