am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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