I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
