k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize