Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
