There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize