I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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