What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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