you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
