so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize