you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
