I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
