You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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