Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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