I puked a lego.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize