STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
