butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sorry about my life...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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