i barfeds in our rink
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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