My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
