I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
