I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
