you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
