You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
