so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
