Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
