Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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