even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
