I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
