Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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