Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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