we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
