I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
