He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
did i walk over a car last night?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize