also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
