Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All the doctor said was why
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
