I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
