Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
