I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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