we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize