Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I want her autograph on my taint
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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