I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She even gives head with a lisp.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Shame - the story of my life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
