Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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