You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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