I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Pooping to opera.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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