Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
