AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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