I could make wine with my vomit
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
