I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
