I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
