I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i out mim tonsoeep
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