I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
